jokes

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client."Of course", the lawyer replied,"I charge $200 to answer three questions!""Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

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The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with honors, and then went home to join his father's firm. At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said,"Father, father, in one day I broke the accident case that you've been workingon for ten years!"His father responded: "You idiot, we lived on the funding of that case for ten years!"

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A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little girl's grandmother. Ontheir way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?""The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

Hindi Jokes

Sardar: wht is the name of ur car?
lady:I forgot the name but it starts from 'T'
Sardr:oye,Kamal ki Gaddi he'Tea' se start hoti he, hamari to petrol se hoti hai.

Sardar:Kal jo Shampoo liya tha,us ka Free Gift do"
Shopkeepr:Us pe free gift nahi hai"
Sardar:pagal samja hai,uspe likha hai "Danddruff FREE..

1 Sardar Roz Murti Pe Matha Tekta Tha..
Pujari Ne Badi Murti Ki Jagah Choti Murti Rakh Di,
Srdr aaya Aur Bola:"Oye Chotu!Daddy Kitthe He?

Sardarji ladki dhek ne gaya,aur ladki se pucha, ''Kitne padey ho?"
Ladki boli "B.A."
Sardar bola, "buddhu do akshar padi hai, wO bhi ulta....

Bhikhari : sab 1 rupia dedo...!
Saheb : kal aana..
bhikhari : saala ye kal kal ke chakkar me is colony me mere lakho rupaye fase pade hai...

Wake Up

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE)He wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

Mental Hospital

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head doctor. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital.However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump. The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump."Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

atm

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA ATM NOTIFICATION

OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS
INTERNATIONAL CREDIT SETTLEMENT,
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA,
29TH AUGUST 2009.

ATTENTION: ESTEEMED CUSTOMER

THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR CONTRACT/ INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FULFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT.

SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THE DAUGHTER BANKS, AND ALL YOUR ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF YOUR FUND PROVED ABORTIVE.

WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM.

THIS OFFICE HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT ATM/DEBIT CARD VALUED TWO MILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY (US $ 2,850,000.00) AS INITIAL PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2009 THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER HERE IN CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA, THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION FROM THE FEDERAL EXECUTIVE COUNCIL.

YOU WILL USE THE ATM/DEBIT CARD TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT THE MAXIMUM IS TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS ONLY (US $10,000) PER DAY.

KINDLY CONTACT THE ACCOUNT OFFICER:FRANK WILLIAMS phd
(cbnatmcardng@sify.com) AND PROVIDE THE BELOW INFORMATION:

1. YOUR FULL NAME:
2. PHONE AND FAX NUMBER:
3. CONTACT ADDRESS:
4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION:

NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUE YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (ATM-Y2K9) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THIS OFFICE BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT.

KIND REGARDS,
REV DR CHRISTIAN ODAMIJO
HEAD AUDITOR
INTERNATIONAL CREDIT SETTLEMENT
CBN.

Central Bank of Nigeria ©2009. All rights Reserved